I think it’s time I share my heart with all of you. This is not an easy post to write, but at some point I was going to have to let you all know what’s been going on in my head…..so here it is…..
For about a year now I have been feeling convicted of spending so much time on the blog. As you can imagine, finding online deals, doing weekly store matchups, posting coupons, etc. is very time consuming. I have three young children whom I have caught myself telling to “wait a minute,” or “let me post this coupon first,” or “no, I can’t do that right now; I have to do matchups,” WAY too many times. I have found myself too busy staying up late to do matchups and then I’m too tired to read my Bible. I have found myself not wanting to do something with my family because I feel like I need to get back home quickly and post some deals so that my blog doesn’t suffer.
This conviction—I kept trying to ignore. I would justify it by telling myself I was doing good things for my family. Saving money with coupons was helping us, right? Making a little extra money monthly for the family was contributing wasn’t it? It doesn’t really matter if I sacrifice that precious time that I can never get back with my children because I’m doing something that will help our family, right? No. The answer is a resounding no. I am not helping my family with this blog. Sure, I’m making a little (and I mean very little) money each month to add to our savings account. But, in the overall picture a couple hundred dollars each month is definitely not worth all of the sacrifices!
My personal relationship with Jesus Christ has suffered because of the blog. As I said above, I have been too busy with it to the point of distracting myself from having consistent daily quiet times. This is not acceptable and I cannot continue to pretend that it is.
My personal relationships with family members have suffered because of the blog. I cannot continue to rush through homeschooling and daily activities with my kiddos to get to the blog. I don’t want to rush through life with them. I want to slow down and play with them. I want to have fun and watch them grow. I do not want to look back 10 or 20 years from now and regret being on the computer too much. Life only happens once and I need to make it count.
My family’s health has suffered because of the blog. I’m sure you’ve all noticed, but the food we buy with coupons is not the healthiest. For the past several months I haven’t even been purchasing the deals I was posting because it’s not *real* food. We are trying to make healthier choices and the processed, boxed food that we have coupons for just doesn’t fit into that picture. I need to teach my children a healthy eating lifestyle. I also have not had the time or energy to exercise because I was just too spent with everything else I have going in my life.
My personal responsibilities of being a homemaker have suffered because of the blog. I am constantly behind on laundry, cleaning, menu planning, etc. Now, I’m not saying that the house will be completely spotless all the time without the blog because I still have a lot of other responsibilities too, but I am saying that without the blog I can devote some of that time spent writing posts and matchups to folding laundry and cooking dinner!
Let me tell you, it’s not an easy thing to admit that I just can’t do it all anymore. I would like to say that I could continue doing everything I’ve been doing….and I guess I could, but not without sacrificing things way too precious to me. Things that God has called me to be. A Jesus follower. A wife. A mother. A homeschooler. A homemaker. A person who relies fully and completely on Him to control my life—NOT a blog. And that’s what it had become. A blog that controlled my life. I do not want that at all.
Now some of you are probably thinking I’m being dramatic. A blog couldn’t really take up so much of someone’s time could it? Yes, blogging is hard. If I only had the blog I could probably have made it great. But the truth is, I have so much in my life that is more important, by far, than a coupon blog. Not only the things God has called me to be as I mentioned above, but also teaching piano lessons, directing the music and choir at our church, being a Pastor’s wife, and serving Him in other various areas. All of these things take up time and when you add them all together there’s just not enough time for me to do it all. I wish I could, but I just can’t---not and feel good about it.
My relationship with Christ, my husband and my children are my priority.
This blog will be changing. There will be no more weekly matchups. I’m sorry. I just cannot continue to ignore my faith, family, health and homemaking convictions in order to run a blog. Nor can I continue to encourage that same obsession that I have had in other’s lives either. I won’t be deleting the blog. It will continue to be right where it is, but it’s changing. Instead of being a coupon/store matchups blog, I’m going to use it as more of a personal, homeschooling, faith-based blog. I may update it 1-2 times a week, or I may get busy and update it less often. I’m not going to let it control me any longer. If there is a really, really good deal that I don’t want you to miss, I may still post it, but for the most part I won’t be posting deals. I started this blog praying that it would be a blessing to others and I hope that it has been. However, it has turned into the opposite for my own family. So now, my prayer is that the new, transformed blog will continue to bless others by me putting Christ first.
Feel free to “unlike” me on facebook or no longer follow my blog if you’d like. I understand, really. But, if you don’t mind hanging around with me, I’d love for you to stay connected on facebook. Say a prayer for my family as I make this adjustment, because my prayer is still for all of my readers to know that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the BEST FREE gift you could ever receive!
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